I finally realize why it has been so difficult for me to embrace, accept, love and cherish myself for who I really am, faults and all.
While telling my “story” to a client, I came to uncover yet another layer of the puzzle that is quite often me. As I was speaking about the beliefs that I formed about my own self-worth, namely, that I was “worthy” only when I pleased others (come on, I know I’m not the only one), something CLICKED, or shifted, in my own heart and mind. Even though I had recounted my story many times before, and in different ways, for some reason this time, I started making even more connections.
That belief – that I am only “worthy” or “valuable” when I please others – still creeps into my life!
Wait a minute… I thought I was DONE with that!
Standing at the threshold to a new career, I’m staring down at the vast expanse of possibility…. Down there…. In the world where I live…. And it struck me that my hesitation still stems from that long-ago belief. What if I’m not effective? What if I can’t help others? What if I perpetuate the old belief by NOT pleasing a client? Is that maybe what’s stopping me? Hell yes it is!!!
But I must rewrite the story. In every aspect of my life, I must rewrite the story.
In my teaching, I must relinquish the need to be pleasing to others. I must accept that I am enough, just as I am, faults and all. I must recognize that the worthiness comes not from someone or something outside of me, but that I’m valuable regardless. For who I am.
In my family dynamics, I need to acknowledge that I am a different person, and people close to me may have absolutely no idea how to deal with the new me. Totally okay.
In my singing, I must just BE… be present, in the moment, sharing and giving back to a gift that’s long lain dormant in my life. Experience the sheer JOY of this gift I’ve been given.
In my coaching, I need to shift my focus to the countless positive, encouraging comments and compliments that have already solidified EXTERNALLY that I am in fact pretty darn effective.
And if I do this, it becomes INTERNAL.
It becomes my new story, because it is the NEW truth. And new truth replaces old truth that no longer serves us.
Our worth is not found in others. Our words, thoughts, actions, and deeds need to reflect our GROWTH, and not our old fears and barriers. It sounds so simple, and yet, we need to remind ourselves of the simple things at times. In fact, often it’s the simple things that redirect us back on the right path.
Sometimes it’s those small, quiet, intimate conversations or encounters that reawaken, rekindle, and remind us of how precious and incredible we really are. How much BIGGER and GREATER we are than just the sum of our parts and others.
We are Divinely made, and so naturally, we are enough! We are of great value. We are worthy. And we matter.
So here comes another year. Another opportunity to rewrite your story. In fact, I bet if you look back at your previous year and take inventory of how far you’ve come, you’ll be in awe of yourself, even if it’s just a little bit.
And so I encourage you to do so.
Celebrate yourself. Celebrate the Divine within you, and be ever grateful, not only for the triumphs, but for the trials. For the falling down, and for the getting up.
For anything trying is worth the effort. You’re worth the effort. Love and cherish yourself, faults and all.
Happy New Year.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:14